Is it so?
The other day, I heard someone get very upset because she was cut from an interview process. She immediately went into the shaming and self-loathing stance.
Here is what it sounded like:
I am not good enough.
They probably had another candidate in mind.
I suck at interviews.
I will never find a job.
The story went on and on and on… The result was anger, frustration, belittling and feelings of insecurity. This victimizing may have a short-term fix for her. But….
Is this consistent with her goal? How does this attitude make anything easier? Will this perspective help her build confidence for the next opportunity?
I am sure each one of you can relate. I sure can.
I have hundreds of situations in life where I have immediately cast judgment.
The criticism generally was pointed right at me.
The truth is I knew very little and made a whole story out of it. In some cases, I carried that story for years. Have you ever done that?
This is a risky place to be. These stories become our bases of an inaccurate reality. It is the actual seed of self-sabotaging. We begin to believe our stories and limit our potentials.
There are healthier perspectives.
Ask yourself these questions:
What is certain here? Her answer is the interviewer never called back. (Stop! Don’t add anything more. Not because he… or because I… only the facts)
What can I do? Focus on actions and thoughts that inspire you to achieve what you desire. She can review her options. Call them back and get the facts, spruce up her resume, and decide what she can improve on.
How can I support myself now?
This is the most important step. It takes practice to keep doing this.
IMAGINE being supported and loved now. Make a list of supportive thoughts and actions. Be there for yourself. Own them!
The next time you have a disappointment, choose to stay positive and support yourself! You will be amazed at the results… more peace and confidence.
Lorraine Rey 